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To conquer self defeating behaviour we need some form of order or path to follow. The A’s are a good way of centering the behaviour and our thinking, joining therapy247 offers help and advice with the following… Acceptance The more we deny or repress our affliction the worse it becomes, the more we try and
Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. LEO TOLSTOY, War and Peace If one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere. JANE AUSTEN,
Don’t live in the past, thinking about mistakes or changes you made. Think of your life as a book, move forward, close one chapter and open another. Learn from your mistakes, but focus on your future, not on your past. I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have
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I have found myself in a cycle of self-destructive behavior. To keep within the confines of this 500 word limit, I with say that the main issue is that my constant dissatisfaction and unhappiness in whatever job or situation I find myself in, I eventually make a deal with myself that something great will happen within a certain time frame or I will kill myself. The thing is that I believe that this great something or another, whether it is winning the lottery or being discovered as a great writer, is something that I find myself truly believing in. When this belief or faith takes hold I tell others that I have more than I do. Sometimes it seems as though this great thing will only occur if I am able to take the actions required of a miracle, meaning showing that I have faith in its truth without expressions of doubt. However, for the second or third time, after putting all I had into this belief, I find myself without my job, my girlfriend, and without my family’s support. I quit my job, promised my girlfriend things I couldn’t provide and lied too often to everyone about my own stability and forthcoming greatness.
I have never seen a professional, though a college professor once suggested that I needed to see someone considering my overall level of depression. I was too often convinced that it was normal and often found myself incredibly happy, charming and outgoing. But such behavior cannot be said to be my norm. I am typically lonely and melancholic finding difficulty in ever maintaining a job or a relationship long. The odd thing is that although I hardly ever am able to do a thing for myself, such as finish college or take care of my own finances, I will do anything possible for a girlfriend. I once joked that the only thing I was ever good at was being a boyfriend. I think this might be due to the fact that I have hardly anyone in my life that I trust or think cares about me, so I typically cling to a girl that shows interest. The problem then becomes that I am unable to hold on to her because I either do little to keep up with my part of the bills, sit around depressed all day, or as the case of this last time around, tell the world that I am far greater than I am, promise that soon I will be able to take care of her and save her from her own sadness, and then lie to cover up that it is all based on this belief that if I risk enough, need things enough, promise enough, then God will provide. And that is what makes me feel crazy and worthless. It never happens but I always fall back into that belief that this time it will happen.
I believe in you
*Hugs you*
Steven– in any book that I have ever read, whether it be fiction or nonfiction. 99% of the time you hear much about trial and error. You just can’t give up when things look down, understand? That involves many things– You decided to be a writer (Least that’s what I gathered) it’s a hard road,such as any art.
And writing is an art, no matter how you look at it. It will take a long while for you to find your edge, something that makes you you and something that people will like. I’m kind of an author myself, though I believe to be younger then you. I still understand that it’s not easy being a writer. But if you keep working at it I’m sure you’ll get a break. But don’t set yourself up for disappointment, don’t expect anything, that way when something does happen you’ll be surprised! And as for girlfriends, its very similar. You make mistakes and you learn from them. Don’t force anything, if you do that you’ll never be happy. Be yourself and don’t try to hard. Be romantic and caring but also be yourself. If she cares about you, she’ll understand you’re having a hard time and will be there to help you. That’s what relationships are all about. Loving each other and being there to help one another. And don’t lie, it just never works about. If she’s a person worth being with she’ll understand and try to help as best as she can. (>;3 And just thought I let you know, I’m single and a female… just saying. lol)
I need someone to talk to.
Hi Camille, please sign up to our community and ask for guidance. Kind Regards, Admin.
I love talking
. add me on facebook and Ill text you if your ever bored
Love and wait your day will come trust me I’m 13 I’ve got scars 4 ligfe on my arm its not worth it get help:)
I don’t know what to do a few days ago I sat on my bed thinking then I thought how my life is horrible and nobody even cares about me so I decided that I needed to cut so I found a needle and started poking myself it didn’t bleed but it left red dots and I enjoyed it so when to the kichen an tool a knife noone saw so I went straight to my room and started cutting it saw not
deep at all but it left scares that’s now fading then like about an hour ago I say down and started thinking and I really got upset and decided to cut so I did and then got a razor and made the cuts a little deeper and started to bleed now I just can’t stop cause it makes me feel good I want help
Hi Magen, my names Kolbey. *shakes your hand*
I know you don’t know me, and truthfully I don’t know you to well either, but if you want-I would like for us to be friends.
To tell you a little bit about myself I’m a 17 year old female who lives in North port Florida.
I had many problems of my own and are slowly over coming them as I get older and learn things. Besides dealing with my past pain my biggest problem now is passing school and my fears of being alone and just my future in general. Although I used to want death and used to do harmful things to myself I am at the moment ok with things and am not depressed. (Just a little worried. lol) So now that you know a few things about me tell me more about yourself? (If you like to) I’m pretty good at helping people with there problems though I’m not a licensed therapist or anything so you don’t have to go by anything I say. (I’m just a person to talk to. XDD) So I just thought I let you know that there is always someone here for you. Just sometimes you gotta meet the people first.
I am unhappy with my life and want to find a way to change it.
Hi. I realy need help . I’m married nearly 3years, but we’ve been togheter now almost 7years, things went very ruff before we got married, my husband father died last year november very suddenly, today my husband told me he loves me very much but he can’t be with me anymore, and that its not me at all. Were now not sleeping togheter or anything at all .that’s how he wants it, but we have 3 kids also, :e doesn’t want us to move out, he wants us to divorce and stay in 1 house. He also said there’s no other women, the problem is himself, why? Is it because he didn’t make peace yet with his faters dead and rejecting me know?
My parents are getting a divorce and I’m scared because all of my friends whose parents got divorced are lets just say in rough shape and before their parents were split up they were normal like me. I don’t want to end up like my friends. I am feeling things I’ve never felt before and it’s very uncomfortable to be around either one of them. Especially around my dad because he asked for the divorce not my mom.
I am a 19 year old male and I am in the best shape of my life. I have little bouts of anger and my parents told me I should find an out for it instead of being desrtuctive.I have had a lot of strange encounters with people and my feelings within the past year so I figured I would just vent here. I was a prep student for a service academy and it didnt work out. While I was at my prep school I asked god for a sign. The next day I had to do a 600 yard sprint for my PT test. I ended up literally running into a “keep off the grass” sign. It was the week before finals and I was spending my days in the infirmary.But not only am I a klutz or seem to have enourmous bouts of bad luck….but unfortunateley I am slowly starting to realize that the thing that drives me insane the most right now is my situation with girls. I am a teen, I am hormonal, and I like girls and there is one in particular who I found who I not only had, fell for, and broke up with, but since my last relationship was long distance (of 2 years) and did not work out, and the girl I met on my summer vacation had a one year long distance relationship, I find myself at a loss. I feel like I cant hold on to anyone not because I don’t like them but because I just want her at this point in my life and she broke up with me recently because she felt like she was getting in too deep knowing that I would be away again next year and I am pursuing a college degree that allows for a lot of travel which has me seriously concerned if I ever wish to have any form of romance in the near or far future. I know I have to respect her choice but now that I know how I really feel about this girl I am terrified of losing her. Currently we are just friends and I think she wants to leave it like that for a while but it just feels like she ended it too soon and I am probably nuts for saying this but I know she really likes me too she is just doing what is best for her but not what is best for her heart.
I was a cutter in middle school so I can relate. Unfortunatly, I do not think you are a cutter. You may be cutting to relieve stress, but I believe every now and then we just need something or someone to remind us that we are just normal humans. If you go a while without feeling a lot of physical pain and you get emotional pain, why wouldn’t your body try to balance it out? If you aren’t being bullied or abused, I believe you can overcome this. You just need an out like a sport or some friends, and hey I’ll be your friend
just add me on facebook and chat me sometime or whatever. Your mind does need some sort of mix of pain and pleasure. But it should never come from self infliction, that’s a clear result of being unhappy or even sometimes just boredom. I’m sure you are a great person who will learn to enjoy life to the fullest. You just have to start 
Today I feel like I’m lower than dirt! Why can’t I be like other people? Why don’t I fit in? Why can’t I be accepted for who I am. I hate me today!
The reason why I like this girl so much is because she is such a good catch. She was so hard for me to chase and finally I had her in my arms but because I am going away for school this fall she cut it short. On July 4th weekend my friends and I went camping and she went along and I noticed everytime I would try to flirt with her she would say no or tell me to stop. I respect her so I would but I sensed it coming just like that. The rest of the night I kept asking her if we could talk but she kept avoiding me and avoiding me and it just became so frustrating I couldn’t stand it. She eventually said if I wanted to talk I could do it in the tent. I felt like I was being challenged but I didn’t care anymore. My friends were in the tent and I immediately apologized to them for the drama before I began to spill my guts about how I wanted to be romantic and take her down by the dock by the pond to make a memory but obviously she was having trust and limitation issues with me so I finally asked her after spilling my guts what my limits were. She began ramblimg off things I definately knew were coming but just didn’t want to hear. She said fine no kissing, no touching, no playing with my hair…and before she could finish I knew she was done with whatever antics we were playing with each other and I just felt like I was being played so I said fine then whatever it is is over now goodnight! and I went to sleep angry. Over the next few weeks I wrote letters to her asking what was really going on and when she got them she confirmed that she really did like me but was just getting cold feet esecially after she had just been in a one year relationship and she didn’t want to get in too deep with me. I am going away and I know I have to let her go but got in too deep way before she did. I feel heartbroken. We are still friends but she is also very attractive and has a lot of guy friends. She tells me she talks to them and that I was something more which makes me pretty comfortable but after talking to her and knowing her background I just want to be there for her and can’t. So now my anger sets in because not only am I frustrated because even if I am still just friends I won’t be seeing her often and I notice guys have recently been hitting on her a lot and she texts me about it. I don’t want to be in the friend zone and I don’t want to feel like a puppet but I do. Since I am going away there is not even a thing I can do about it. Whenever I hear her news about another guy thinking she is cute or giving her gifts I never show it but I see red. I take a lot of it out by running two miles to the gym, working out and then running back. That way by that time I am too tired to deal with my emotions. I don’t think she was playing with me because we discussed it and I told her I felt like she was playing me but she told me she put walls up because she did not want her heart broken again. I am at such a loss. I don’t ever want to break her heart
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I need some one to talk to. I am fifteen years old and i feel I see things, I don’t know how to be happy, I have been put in a mental instiution when i was younger and i fail at relationships i think. I just need someone to help me because i am scared. Please
I really need someone i feel alone i just feel empty no one at my house gets a clue i really need someone how do i sign up?
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Admin
I recently found my husband on a couple of cheaters/sex websites. When I confronted him, he denied it at first, then finally he admitted it and said he wanted to work on our marriage and he will delete his profiles. Obviously something is going on deep below the surface. He also said he feels like he is in a jail, he can’t do anything he wants or engage in his passions: writing and soccer. He complained about my jealousy. When I did try to ask him to show me the profiles, he refused.
I must admit I am extremely jealous and possessive. Whenever we are in public, I feel like he distances himself whenever there is an attractive woman. He will let go of my hand/arm, not say anything to me, etc. I honestly feel invisible and humiliated when this happens. When I tell him how this hurts my feelings and is disrespectful, he gets angry and we get into a huge fight.
In the beginning of our relationship, I did find out he was cybersexing online with women. Afterwards I have a constant fear of abandonment. Everything I do is nagging and suffocating, I feel hopeless. He did say he wanted to work on our marriage, but how can I just move forward and forget all of hurt he has caused to our family?
Hello Cristina. To be honest Iv heard this before. This kind of happened to my best friend Rachel and a boy named Jim. This sort of thing happened except for the family thing. He was sweet to her with songs and notes. But as soon as some other girl was arround when she wasn’t he acted like she didn’t exsist. He even tried things on my girlfriend and I almost beat him down. When Rachel found out she was deeply hurt and is still really sad at times. This happened well over a year ago. She left him. I guess what I’m trying to get across is hes clearly not worth it. If he truly loves you he would be 117% open to you. I don’t know about your life but what I got from your story is you have children and I am extreamly agenst leaving with kids. It happened to me and I’m scarred from it. You should have a long talk with him and really try to work it out. If he doesn’t want to keep pushing it on him. Be strong. Your bigger then he is always remember that.
How do I deal with an emotionally / mentally abusive mother? I have no siblings and she has no husband. My father is not in the picture. The woman is 57 and acts like I was born to be her servant. When I do do what she wants, she wants more and more. It’s never enough. When I don’t do what she wants, she tells me things like “if I die before you, just cremate me and throw me in a dumpster” and other things that mention death. (She usually gets more detailed than that – and can get pretty morbid.) She has tactics she uses to manipulate. If she wants something, she will either get mean or cry. You can’t talk rationally to her at all or you’ll regret it. I did that once and heard about it for several years after. (After trying to be honest and tell her why I don’t come around much)
She’s HORRIBLE to be around. She’s a swirling ball of negative energy. But then she makes little stabs at me because I don’t come around enough! She never stops talking and it’s always about her. You cannot have a normal conversation with her. She interrupts everything, so that she can talk MORE about her ailments and medications. She even does this at children’s birthday parties and holidays. It’s never ending. I can’t stand her anymore – but I’m the only person she has besides her own mother, who she leeches money off of every month! She asks me for money too. I feel like I don’t even have a mother anymore. She has put me in a situation where I feel more like the parent – and she’s the rebellious teen. When you do try to help her, she makes it as difficult as possible. She’s absolutely maddening and I have NO idea how to deal with her. She’s sucking the life out of me. I already have anxiety attacks, and she’s making me surge with adrenaline 24/7. She goes on these binges where she will call 20 times or text 20 times in a row.
When she does that, I shut down because my only two options are to not say anything, or to say things that can be used against me later. It makes her even angrier when ignore her.
She is one of the most self-centered people I know. She talks about me to other people like I’m worthless. It’s like she doesn’t know the real me… she’s always projecting things onto me. Like, I said I was scared of her cat (he bites) and she said “You want to kill him don’t you?” ANYONE who knows me knows that I would NEVER kill a cat like that! Please help! I can’t take it anymore!
Hi. My name is Cam. I have ben in a realtionship for 1 year and 7 months. We seperated because I was unknowingly hurting her. When I found out we decided to seperate. Its ben a while and I’m better now. Shes with some other guy now and I don’t like him. I was hurt so bad and all of our friends said it wouldn’t take long but my ex (Sam) said herself it wouldn’t take long. Now I am finding out that all of that was a lie. All of my friends lied to me. I don’t blame Sam she doesn’t what will happen but she said she will have me back sometime. I’m just hurt because ALL of our friends lied. I feel like everything that happened is my fault. Iv done things to myself that are unspeakable but I don’t care. Now everything that comes along feels 10 times worse. I feel bad even ranting so ill stop. Thanks