okay  i wrote out a list of everythiong i wanted to bitch at my boyfriend for. about everything, im not good at orginizing my thoughts so i wrote down all the points i wanted to talk about with him here is what i wrote down...

i am tired of being the middle man, having to speak for you to my mom and speaking for my mom to you. im always having to explain your actions to her and stick up for you when her  veiw of you is wrong. and its especially wrong when i have to do this and you wont defend me in a dispute between me and my mom or brother, you've actully said " i dont want to get in the middle of that" but thats what im doing now, its not fair.

im tired of being the only one to clean up our room, i know you help but only if you ask and then most of the time you act like i asked you to do back braking work or something.

me and my mom both think you could be working harder  at finding a job ( you didnt even go back to fridays last tues. even when your friend put in a good word for you ) and you havent been job hunting at all this week, i know you have had to do other things but if you were serious then u would have tried to get on the internet and look.

my mom is getting very impatient with you. she wants you to find a job soon. you havent been able to pay your whole half of the light bill yet, and she is getting close to kicking you out, she shouldn't have to support you, especially since your not even her son.

and we both think its stupid of you to waste your money on fast food, when we have food at the house, you could be using that money towards cigarettes or even saving it for the light bill

whenever you do something i or my mom ask you to do you usually " half ass it "  like when you do the clothes you usually dont put everything away.

and i think you could go a little out of your  way to somtimes compliment me, without me asking you how i  look, i shouldn't have to fish for compliments.

also whenever i have these talks with you and you say you will change and make it better you do for a little bit but you go back to doing what you didi before i said anything.

thats all i have down at the moment. i hope he loves me enough to really work at it because i have been thinking that if he gets kicked out that i would probably break up with him, but i dont know if i could or not untill that moment comes, i have been seriously considering throwing that in as well because i know he is really afraid of losing me, maybe that will make him pay more attention and work harder, its just so hard to say things that hurt him even though its for his own good.