I know it sounds, again, like I am whining about a paper cut or something, but lately the littlest things have sent me spiraling down.

Like he asked me today,"Why are you crying?"

And I honestly had no answer.

And that scares me...

I am brought back to those first few days that I was here, in a different part of my state, away from my family, away from everyone that I knew, with no one but Beau... I cried endlessly for days, alone in this room that isn't even on campus. I was set off from everyone, everything that I knew, and I longed for just a little bit more of home. And when I began to open myself up to people, especially Beau, I never expected to be this vulnerable. Now it's as if anyone can just poke me with a stick and I'll begin to bleed. As if I'm extremely breakable... 

And I used to be so strong. I don't know where that's gone.

I guess that when you fall in love it's supposed to hurt sometimes.

I guess I just didn't expect for it to hurt this much, like there would be a balance.

I guess I was wrong...