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Gold
OFFLINE
Posted: 29/06/2010 03:17
I think you are doing good with this. I do feel you need more detail and specifics in what you say, so from here on out you feel free to do it, okay? You say you need to work on your stress, but that is all built up from issues of your past that have not been dealt with, and then you have new issues from the here and now pileing up on the old issues and causing more stress. The issues of today and tomorrow can not be delt with until you learn from old issues how to handle a bad situation. I asked you if you could have had the power to make her stop, what would you have said or how would it look. This is an imagination excersise for the brain that helps you practice what it would feel like to stand up for yourself succesfully and feel good afterwards about doing it. So you could imagine you are not a little girl and you had the power to just hold up your hand and it magicaly made her shut up. It is just so you can feel what that power feels like and looks like. Does this excersise make since? b Take another incedent from the past, tell me about it, tell me how you felt then and how you feel now about it, then tell me if you could have any power to change what the outcome of it was, what would that look like, what would you say?

Some times our friends take us for granted and can be bruitaly honest. Then some times they really aren't friends. I do not know which one he is but from what your first post was about a lot of people in your life, I am sorry you have been feeling very alone and not understood in all this. I would like to see you get twords feeling better and to start liking you. I would love for you to be able to get out of bed in the mornings because you can see that goal of moving away very clearly and wanting it with a full heart again.

There is a saying, I love you but I do not have to love this. Meaning I love you mom but I do not have to put up with you being so mean. Good moto to have.

I love you but I do not have to love this.
phoenix
OFFLINE
Posted: 30/06/2010 10:31
There are other happenings about my father, other relatives and friends, I can say it later. Now I'll talk about school that is one of my worst traumas. That's the longer story because that's the story of 15 years into schools. As I had problems at almost every school I studied, I have moved through 10 diferent schools from very first one to last year of high school. Starting at my first school, I was 2 years old and I have no memories of this incident, but surely it's something that stay into my unconcious, I know only the story my mother told me, when she went to take me from school, I was full of bruising and hurts, then I was moved from school, the other were as violent as previous one or worse, I remember physical agression there and remeber I cryed a lot don't wanting to enter there, I stayed there for 1 year then moved to next school where I stayed for the longest time, 4 years, there were a nun's school with more strict control, what not prevented me of being bullied, first year there I think it was ok, I don't remember something too bad, but in next year when new classmates were added to class, one of them have became my friend, we were 6 years old (I believe he was same age as me) we seemed to be starting a good friendship untill he abruptly changed his mind and started to make my following years at that school a hell, he seemed to be taken by a demon, seriously. Then every day was a massacre there, at the break he pursued me anywhere I was and took me by strength to anywhere he wanted, and there stared the mental torture, I don't remember what exactly he said, probably it was an erased memory for so much frightening it was for a little child, but I remember he often talked about witches, spell, demons and such things, it wasn't what made me frightened at all, but that's all I remember, he also was often saying that his father is from police and if I do not do everything he wants he will tell his father to arrest my parents, well I don't liked my parents, but I was worried about who would keep me if all my other relatives also hate me, I was just a little girl and I believed a policeman could arrest anyone he wants for no reason, just because his son wants. He said it repeatedly, often, untill one time he made me cry with it, and I hate to cry in the front of others and I hate to show weakness. His agression wasn't only verbal, it was physical too, he beaten me, pushed me down stairs, dragged down slopes, ran pulling me with him and sometimes I fell and hurt, he broke my things, scribbled and teared my books, stole my food and ran with it along all the school and said if I told someone he would do more and worse... Then when my mother knew about it, she became mad with me for allowing him to do it, like it all were my fault and she punished me verbally and physically for that, so I lived a hell at school then a hell at home. This happened along 3 years untill I moved to next school, there I don't remember nothing so bad, but a lot of people who made fun of me for being ugly, shy and strange, next following year I were moved from school again, the next were the lighter one where I don't remember too bad things, only the same target of jokes, there girls started to make fun of me because boys liked them and don't liked me because I am ugly, shy and strange, I was too young to care about it, 10 years old, but in some way my feeling of rejection was just growing. This in my country was similar to an elementary school, I think, so that was my last year of elementary so I had to move again for a bigger school. There we had fixed seats following the first letters of our names, that way unfortunatelly I had 2 of my bullies seating just in front of me, one of them was a boy who was everytime saying how much he is rich and that he lives in a high class place, he owns expensive things, spend his vacation 2 times a year into London and buy lots of expensive things there, and that I am poor just because I'm not as rich as him, and I don't have money to study in that school and should not be studying with him, as usual he also called me ugly, and that's not all, he also was all the time threatening me of physical agression, sometimes when school day ended, he stayed at the outside part with me while I was waiting my mother and put his hand in my face saying he will punch, I said him nothing, if I say him to stop, he would stay for longer and my mother could see it, I was not afraid of anything he could do, but I was yes very afraid of what my mother would do if she saw that, it would surely be the same vicious circle that happened at a past school I told before, I don't know how I luckily have sucessfully hidden it of my mother for one whole year, but I did it. Now about the other bullie at that school, I don't know if I should call him a bullie, he was not agressive and his words were not so humiliating, but he did to me some abuse, it wasn't traumatic like my other memories but I will just mention it, he touched my breasts, often and every day, only that, but not because he liked me, he was just taking advantage of my shyness, I stayed at the most hiden and isolated places because of my social phobia (ps. I am medically diagnosed with social phobia), I was and I am very afraid of places full of people, so he took advantage of this also, for staying alone with me there, but thanks God, nothing worse happened, it was only the touch and he was smaller than me so I could hold his hands and have some control, this was also something I was very afraid of my mother knowing, I don't want to think what she would do if she knew that, luckily that's also I've hidden as well as when I broke a foot in an accident into a gymnastics class and never told it, afraid of she saying that someone broke my foot or it was my fault as always, and I was already feeling too much pain to have to bear something more. Then one of the school coordinators told my mother to move me to other school claiming that this one was too big and I was having relationship issues because of that, my mother was also not satisfied with that school and moved me to other, again a nun's school, very strict one, there I were also verbally bullied and sometimes threatened, and this were the first time I had badly fell in love for someone, someone who today I feel absolutelly nothing for, but I spent 5 years platonically loving him, he as well as everyone I have loved, felt nothing for me, just wanted distance, I stayed 1 year at this school and moved again to another, there were a dangerous school with almost no rules, but luckily that was one of the lighter for me and nothing happened, only the usual target of jokes, there I stayed for 2 years. Then I had to move again from school for starting high school, here comes the worse year before 2009, when I attempted suicide. I never told it before, even to the psicologists, I never told them because I was too ashamed to talk about it, so it's the first time I go into details about it. It were 2006, I was 15, problems at home have worsened a lot, and I was bordering on insanity, then classes started, we had one group work to do, there were girls and one boy only, much older, he were 19, firstly he was quiet, and girls started with the bullying, talking and asking me about boyfriend, something I was too revolted to hear, because I know that they all know that I have not, and never had a boyfriend because I am ugly and disgusting, and they did it just to put me down, and I was already too stressed with worse problems I was having at home, so I had no mind for such things, but they noticed how embarassed I was, and kept talking about it, asking me embarassing things and making fun of me for never having a first time, then they started talking about the present boy, asking if I would not want to be with him, this made me even more embarassed, anxious and revolted, I had no eyes for anyone else, the boy I platonically loved since I were 12 were the only one in the world for me. And of course they were only joking, this present guy were like the most beautiful of the school for them what I don't care, they was just making fun of me for being that shy and ugly, the cynical looks and smiles of them made me so angry inside, but at the outside, anxiety was taking over, then my ocasional panic attacks became a daily torture... At these attacks I felt an uncontrolable trembling, cold sweating hands, heart beating acelerated and stronger, abdominal disconfort, dificulty to breathe and an urge to escape and the feeling that I'm not able to escape, after the attack comes the embarassment, then depression, then suicidal thoughts. Attacks comes only in front of people, and I felt very pathetic trembling in front of them and watching they laughing, that's what happened several times a day, every day since the first attack I had at the group work, then for something I have no idea, this guy of the incident, became the trigger of my attacks, like if in my unconcious, everytime I saw him, I was living the embarassing situation again then I started feeling all the anxiety again. But for everyone else, if my heart become acelerated and I start trembling everytime I saw him, that was because I loved him. That's absolutelly not true, he can be the most beautiful of the school for them, but for me he isn't, I loved someone else, and had no mind for such things at the moment. He also believed I desperately loved him, for the girls he said that, and stayed with the cynical looks and smiles for me, and even saying disrespectful things, but for his friends he said I'm a crazy. I want to let it clear I do not like or even liked him, he was just a trigger, for me he is just a male whore, pedophile who I would never spend my love with. My worse attack happened in the front of everyone, the teacher asked me to take my notebook for her to check, I went there, I started feeling anxious with the presence of that someone close, it would take some time for her to end checking the notebook, and I could not wait standing there longer, I started trembling like someone in a epileptic seizure do, nothing in my life was so embarassing, everyone were watching it and madly laughing, someone said to call the ambulance, just to make fun. Since there, the bullying became worse, another boy started making fun of me, imitating me trembling, and imitating how I acted when anxious. Months went by and I could not bear, I finally needed to say it to my mother, I told something happened and I was being badly bullied and was having anxiety attacks and I needed a medicine, but I was too ashamed to tell that story because I'm sure she would not understand. She said it's just my weakness for not reacting to the bullies, so that's my fault, and I deserve what I suffer until the day I stop being so coward. I had no friends, no one to talk, no one to care, attacks were becoming unbearable, so I attempted suicide, did not succeded with it. Months later I started taking medicine, an antidepressant, in short-term it has not changed things so much, but in long-term yes, and I am better now, almost rid of panic attacks. So I stayed in this school for 1 year and moved to next, my last one where I spent 2 years until my graduation. There wasn't so bad, panic stayed more at my first year there then were calming down with time. At last year there, I changed my mind a lot, from antisocial to someone who desperately wanted friends, I realized this boy I liked since 12 years old were not worth, I sent him to hell and opened my heart to find someone else who are able to love me in return, but this only made me hurt even more, I was again loving someone who don't liked me, I suffered for it and could only forget when I found my first boyfriend who I mentioned on first post, anxiety prevented me of making friends, so my try to socialize ended up in nothing but frustration. The only happy thing, is to be now graduated and rid of all this hell, it's such a huge relief no words can explain. I just ran away and thought it were the end, and it was really the end of that bad phase, but the problems I had in it were never dealt, then my mind, 2 years later is stay in an endless school, almost every dream I have, there is some school in it, and nightmares also, there are labyrinths, blood, bullies, I feel lost there. I researched something about dreams and found that a repeatedly dream means a problem undealt. And school is really a problem undealt for me. I'm also phobic of schools, I try to avoid walking close to one the most I can, and I would never, no way, study again into something similar, i.e college. What I felt was the want for the day I would never have to come to a school again, I felt fear, powerless and I was very submissive. Now what I feel is that it damaged my mind in some way what leaded to my actual situation, I still feeling fear but I changed a lot in the way I'm no longer submissive, now I believe if someone mess with me, I can do worse to them even if they think I'm a weak, that's what I ever say, in the smaller bottles are the worst poisons, I became someone much stronger than the one I were at school. I believe if I ignored them they may stop, but that was something hard because I could not control anxiety symptoms nor hide it of them. If I had that power to make them stop, it would be a great relief.
Gold
OFFLINE
Posted: 01/07/2010 00:45
I am sorry you had to move threw so many schools. It does make it tough on a person. We are so fragile as children and it makes it hard when another kid is mean. He obviously did not know how to handle being a kid either. I had a friend in 1st grade. He was the only one I hung out with. It felt like every day I would go to school and not recognize any of the other kids faces, but when I saw him I would relax. I too was 6. One day he turned on me. Started to be mean. He would bite me, kick me, hit me, make fun of me. I am not sure if the other kids liked him but they sure hated me more. I never did figure out why he did it. But it hurt, physicaly and mentaly. I was raised where adults have the authority so if a child would threaten me with their parents I was scared. I didn’t care for my mom or sisters much, but I still loved them and was afraid of what would happen to me if they were gone. It is a powerful weapon kids use on each other and he could obviously back it up with dad being a police officer. I would not feel to bad about crying in front of him. One day you will realize that you have the right to cry and it is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being human. If we weren’t ment to cry then we would not be able to produce tears or have emotions that brought on those tears of mother nature.
You’ve made me sit back and think of some of the things I have said to my own son. I am a very strong woman and my son is passive. He does not like to fight. I know he would win a fight, I have seen it, but he will not do it. I have said to him some of the same things your mom has said. Why are you being a coward? If you don’t stand up for your self then you get what you got. How can you let some one be mean to you like that? And others. I do not believe I was as mean as your mom and there was never any physical but I did try to push him into standing up for himself, my way. I just wanted to protect him. I knew I could not be there all the time so I wanted to impower him to be able to deffend himself. I see now from you that it probably had the oppisite effect, but most importantly I can now see why.
The rich kid from one of your schools sounds like he had issues of low self esteem of his own. Some times it is good to put your self in anothers foot steps. Does not make what they do okay, but understanding why they did it, makes it a bit easier to cope with. He is one person you can deffinatly chalk up to, he did not know any better. Sorry you got the blunt end of him being a but head. Now the other bully, he was a molester. He abused your body and your mind. Him feeling your breast was shameful on his part. It can cause you to feel ashamed and embarrassed about being a girl and later in life about being a woman. I would say he had a great deal do do with you feeling ugly about yourself. How dare he! How dare them all! I will be angry at him for you if that is okay. I hope he gets what he deserves in life.
(If you haven’t noticed by now, but everything you have experienced has led you to your social phobia. Social fobia usually has a strong back ground of shame. Something in the person is feeling shameful. And no wonder you feel ashamed with all you have been subjected to and taught. You have nothing to feel ashamed about and the finger should point to them not you. That is one issue we are seriously going to have to look at. Reteaching you how not to be ashamed because of other peoples actions or false statements they feed you. Just because they picked you as a target does not mean there is something wrong with you and you should be ashamed of it. There are many reasons why some one is choosen to be a target of a bully, by mom, friends, school mates, etc. And none of them have to do with the target themselves. It has to do with what the bully wants that will make them happy.)

This guy you were in love with for 5 years, why did you love him?

What happened at school with the anxiety and then panic attack, I think you got a pretty good grip on what happened there. But I think you may be leaving a few things out. Axiety from not being able to make it stop. You probably did like the guy and hoped he would see the real good you and not listen to the gossiping girls but he didn’t. He went along with them and this hurt and disappointed you and just reinforced in you that guys were just as mean and evil and the whole human race can not be trusted. He had the chance to be your hero and stand up to them a nd say knock it off but he didn’t. He let you down and that feelinf of abandonment and alone was also triggered every time you saw him.

I wonder if you can ever forgivr him for being weak and following the crowd and being mean for he too was afraid of being ridiculed if he took your side?

I was happy to read that you wanted more for yourself and to start getting out in the world. Do not give up on that. It was your first time out of the starting blocks and most people falter their first time out. Don’t let it be a set back, the BF, the friends, all a good learning experience for your attempts to learn how to be social. Good for you. It’s like learning to fly. You watch people and wish you could be up soaring above the clouds. One day you decide you are going to do it and fly. Well you can’t just jump into a plane and take off, you’ll crash. You have to take lessons before you really get the hang of flying. You don’t just give up on flying when you find out you can’t do it right away and have to learn. You stay with it and learn from your mistakes and your triumphs. Now is your time to fly.

You do know that schools are not your issue don’t you? It is people. Hince the social phobia. You are right and have not dealt with the issues so you manifested the hurt into disliking and fear of schools than what the real issue is and that is the fear and dislike of people in those schools. It is a hard concept to wrap your brain around at first but the school did nothing to you. It is simply representing in your brain the mean people. It is easier to see images of a school than the face of a bully. Try to remember it is the person that does the action that is offencive, not the action, or the place, or the weather, or the food around, but the person. Then you can start to deal with and cope with those feelings you have about that person.

in the smaller bottles are the worst poisons, What a strong statement. I hope you remember how your body feels when you hear yourself saying and typing those words. Say them again to yourself and see how you feel. Your breathing, your posture, your hands, you face, how does it all feel?

I want you to practice two excersises. One for the past and one for the present for anyone who does you wrong.

Past- for any time you think of a situation that someone has been mean to you, don’t care who it is, think the whole incedent threw and then finish the thought with a powerful image of you being strong and making them stop. Your strength could be your words, your fist, a magic wand, a flick of the hand, snaping your fingers, what ever you do have it be powerful and that it has made them stop completely of being mean for that incedent.

Present-for any time some one is mean to you in the present I want you to repeat to yourself what I said before. I love you but I do not love this. Even if you do not love the person being mean, I want you to say love. It will help practice forgiveness and self esteem building. I love you but I do not love this. Say it three times in your head. Then listen to them again. If they are still being mean, repeat the statement again 3 times. Keep doing this until they have stopped.
phoenix
OFFLINE
Posted: 01/07/2010 19:42
Yes, I was someone very passive, I don't like to fight, I've never reacted with agression and that is my nature. I know what happened to your son, I'm sorry. My mother wanted me to react agressively and it really had the opposite effect, just made me feel sufocated having to be someone I am not, and it helped a lot building the anxiety I feel today.
The rich kid, I ever knew he had low self esteem, he felt low at something, so he needed to put me down to feel better himself, I just felt worried with him all the time doing it and threatening me.
About the molester, I was only 11 years old and at that age I really felt ashamed for having breasts, I felt not ready to become a woman yet, and I was ashamed for having someone looking or touching them, he touched very often and sometimes hugged me in a weird way, I was not ready for it. For certain time I just acted like if I do not wanted people to notice that I have breasts, because I felt ashamed if I was not seen as just a child. Now that I accept that I'm no longer a child, I'm not afraid if someone notice them, I even like it, but still feeling a little ashamed when someone looks.
And yes, my social phobia is a result of too much shame, I know nothing was my fault and I do not blame myself, but I feel ashamed about all that happened at my past, and also for being called ugly so many times, I forget to mention, I was also called sick and retarded just because of the shy way I acted, this really put me down and added a lot to my low self esteem. I have changed my posture a lot without any help, just with my own willpower, and I noticed how people changed also, I had been treated more often like a normal human instead of a sick retarded, but I still not fully recovered of this yet.
The guy I loved for 5 years, it's interesting why I loved him, he was just the opposite of me, he did everything I wanted to do if I was not that shy, he was the opposite of shy, he was very funny and happy and was often doing wrong things and being temporarily kicked out of school, and at the same time he was very sweet, one of the things I appreciate the most in a man is the sweetness. He was like the one I wanted to be like, and being that sweet and cute, I could not help in falling in love with him, I wanted him badly, along 5 years, but he was too beautiful for a ugly creature like me, he was just a platonic love like everyone I loved before my bf.
Now, about the other school, the anxiety I felt there was agravated for not being able to control it, I had fear of the fear. I never expected nothing from this guy, I felt nothing for him, I liked the other one, not him. I just wanted him to treat me with the same respect the other boys had for me there, the disrespectful ones there were only the girls, him and the other boy who imitated me. Anxiety were trigged because I do not wanted people to think I was in love with him, because I was not.
The reason I can't forgive him, is that he doesn't minded that it could had been caused by some disorder, he doesn't minded if I had other problems in my life, he just believed I was mad in love for him, and yes he was afraid of being ridiculed by his male friends, so for them he called me a crazy, and made fun of me only in front of the girls of that class.
I want more for me, I have plans for my future, I don't want to give up on living, but I almost gave up on socializing, all that last me is the revolt for watching people doing and having all that I am not able to, i.e freedom, friends, company, love..
The issue about school is really the mean people there, but also to have to be locked there with them, and to go there everyday, plus the pressure of studying, what was very tiring while I had concentration issues and I am happy to be rid of it and would never come back to study again.
In the smaller bottles are the worst poisons, that is my motto, the original phrase says "the best perfumes", but I prefer my version, that's stronger, I am always saying it and puting on my pages, this really make me feel stronger, I don't notice any physical feelings, but it make me feel more confident.
I will practice the exercises, althought saying that I love someone who is mean to me is a hard task. It all have made me rancorous and hateful, but I will try.
JAMESLIFE
OFFLINE
Posted: 07/07/2010 17:59
just remember no matter who or what you will always have your self ugly or not its the personality dat matters
phoenix
OFFLINE
Posted: 08/07/2010 19:40
That's right, personality is more important than beauty. But also, that's harder to be liked because of personality than because of beauty, people pick the most beautiful ones even if they have s**hit on mind and heart :/
Gold
OFFLINE
Posted: 08/07/2010 23:44
That's right, personality is more important than beauty. But also, that's harder to be liked because of personality than because of beauty, people pick the most beautiful ones even if they have s**hit on mind and heart :/

Not true. Millions of ugly or plain jane people can out shine or out sparkle other beautiful people in the world simply because they hold their head up. You have a tendancy in your thoughts and words to use what are called blanket staements. You incompass everything into one category. You say peopla pick the most beautiful ones even if they have shit on mind and heart. So you are telling your self that every person on the planet will pick only the beautiful people to be around everytime and only for their looks. Not a ture statement but you say it like that and that is what you are going to believe. Start using sometimes, or most of the time, stay away from always statements. Should have sounded like this. It seems like most of the people I have seen will pick what they conceder beautiful people to be with even if it is one of the beautiful people that has shit on their minds and hearts. Do you hear and see the difference. Not all people pick just the pretty people. Not all pretty people have crappy minds and hearts and this staemnet says that instead of say all ways and all the time.
cullenra
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Posted: 09/07/2010 02:47
i know what your going thru i just went thru it my self with in the last two weeks. its hard. it's like your being judged for what you look like, who you are and what your like.
i just got out of a barley over three year relationship with the one person that i thought was the one and it turned out the whole time he was in love with someone else that we knew.
i went threw high school as the nerd no friends. or what friends i did have were always with a guy. i stood in the corner wishing that i could be that person, looking down apon my self because of who i am.
all i wanted and still do is to be loved by someone other than my family. to have a life of my own and to have a family of my own.
the pain wont go away for the one person that i can no longer have. i want to be free of the memories that seem like a fairy tale to me now that i don't have that one guy in my life.
i asked god what i did wrong with my self to make him leave and go to this other person. why couldn't it have been me that he loved like that.

just want you to know that if you need to talk i'm here to talk
phoenix
OFFLINE
Posted: 09/07/2010 22:28

Gold wrote:
Not true. Millions of ugly or plain jane people can out shine or out sparkle other beautiful people in the world simply because they hold their head up. You have a tendancy in your thoughts and words to use what are called blanket staements. You incompass everything into one category. You say peopla pick the most beautiful ones even if they have shit on mind and heart. So you are telling your self that every person on the planet will pick only the beautiful people to be around everytime and only for their looks. Not a ture statement but you say it like that and that is what you are going to believe. Start using sometimes, or most of the time, stay away from always statements. Should have sounded like this. It seems like most of the people I have seen will pick what they conceder beautiful people to be with even if it is one of the beautiful people that has shit on their minds and hearts. Do you hear and see the difference. Not all people pick just the pretty people. Not all pretty people have crappy minds and hearts and this staemnet says that instead of say all ways and all the time.


My ex misses only his ex because of her features what he talked a lot about after our breakup, even with the ugly heart she have and all the evil she did to him, he still missing her only because of her beauty, and me who love and care for him so much, I was worth nothing, he said I could leave bc he will never miss me.
It can be not always, but that's the way I feel, like if always people will pick someone only for the look even if that beautiful one have a crappy mind and heart.
phoenix
OFFLINE
Posted: 09/07/2010 22:29

cullenra wrote:
i know what your going thru i just went thru it my self with in the last two weeks. its hard. it's like your being judged for what you look like, who you are and what your like.
i just got out of a barley over three year relationship with the one person that i thought was the one and it turned out the whole time he was in love with someone else that we knew.
i went threw high school as the nerd no friends. or what friends i did have were always with a guy. i stood in the corner wishing that i could be that person, looking down apon my self because of who i am.
all i wanted and still do is to be loved by someone other than my family. to have a life of my own and to have a family of my own.
the pain wont go away for the one person that i can no longer have. i want to be free of the memories that seem like a fairy tale to me now that i don't have that one guy in my life.
i asked god what i did wrong with my self to make him leave and go to this other person. why couldn't it have been me that he loved like that.

just want you to know that if you need to talk i'm here to talk


I understand it, my wish is also to be loved, to have a life of my own and to have a family of my own. These plans were with my ex, now that I no longer have him, I am destroyed. You may know I was also left bc of someone else he had, and I also have no idea why he liked she more than me, I don't know what I did wrong to him. Memories kills me everyday, no one never made me feel so special like he did, he was the first and last one to prove I was not disgusting and to say me things I never heard even in my prettiest dreams. I don't know why they give us dreams to later take it away with such cruelty.
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06/09/2010 12:18 by Gold
01/09/2010 10:57 by Gold
30/08/2010 18:33 by Gold
30/08/2010 17:35 by d_hinton
Therapy 247

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