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Posted: 18/07/2010 13:32
 -julie |
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Posted: 18/07/2010 15:35
Jeo blow here thinks this. If your friends and family don't like him, there has to be a reason and you are refusing to open your eyes to that reason. He cheated because of issues he has, not you. If he does not resolve these issues then he will cheat again, that is statistics. I think you should get yourself a very good "I love myself" back bone and do this. Sit him down, let him know that your plans for the end of semester, or term, or when school begins to wrap up or when you have enough schooling you can get a decent job, don't know your feild or when that may be, and you will continue school during the job, what ever the date is you give it to him and set it for your self. You let him know, I love yopu but you have hurt me big time, you need to make amends for what you have done, you need to proove your self trust worthy, you've known me for 4 years, I think you can figure out how to do all that on your own, you are a big boy and it is your responsibility, not mine. You need to go to counceling or get on a therapy sight or something to help you figure out why you cheated and to make sure it does not happen again. If you do not do these things by this date, then I will have no choice but to leave you because I love me and deserve better. You are cabable of better but you are not sharing that with me. If you want to share a better life with me, then you need to choose to love your self and do it, I have made me and my feeling better my priority so I can help me and my kids, if you want the same for your self good, if not on this date I will be leaving. This is not an ultimatum. You have the right to choose what ever direction you want to go, just as I have the right to choose to be good to myself, and that includes having people in my life who are good to me too. Do not argue with him. He will try to argue and debate this, do not do it. Also, be prepared that some of the actions you do will have influenced his desission to cheat. That means that say you are a giving person, but he may see it as smoothering, instead of talking to you, which he should of done, he cheated. Now this does not say that you are the reson he cheated, god no! But his inability to talk to you or a boss or a friend about habits they may have that he can't handle helped him choose to cheate because he refused to go talk to the person. Hope that makes since. Just saying if he chooses to get himself better, you may be into this whole therapy thing too, be prepared, it is worth it. In the mean time, while the date looms in the back ground, you continue to work on you and making you happy. Stay or go the way you feel about yourself is very important and when some one hurts us like this we have a tendancy to get down on our selves. Time to lift your spirits again and work on you not him. He has to work on himself. And he has to if he wants this to work. He has to if you want to beable to stay and get back to being happy. He has to or he will just end up doing it again to you or another relationship. |
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