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Overcoming low Self-Esteem Self-esteem is how much you value yourself. It dictates how much you believe you are capable of. It decides how much of yourself you radiate out to the World, how much you connect with people, the way you interact and express yourself to friends, partners, colleagues, employers, strangers, etc. It is the voice that tells you how capable, unique and worthy you are. Self-esteem is purely an attitude of mind; you create your own self-esteem level, mostly unconsciously, through life experience, reaction to other’s opinions, how others treat you, parenting, friends of influence, social activities, past and current relationships, childhood experiences, etc. The only way to achieve your highest self-esteem level is to take control and know that you are in charge of how you think of yourself. By realising that every person is equal, and just has different forms of talents, passions and goals in life, no one is superior over another; we’re all just people. So by understanding this you may as well adopt a higher level of self-esteem because first of all it just feels better than consciously feel bad. Secondly, when you programme your own self-esteem to a higher level you have every chance of achieving your goals and dreams. They won’t come to a weak mind! Remember that you are equal to every other person in this world. Nobody has power over you; if someone is trying to assume dominance or intellectual superiority over you, that’s purely an expression of their level of self-esteem, colliding with their interpretation of yours. But that doesn’t mean to have to put up with what they’re trying to put on you, give it back and stand your ground! Stand up taller, speak clearly with strength; make yourself heard and don’t shrink away. Consciously stand up tall and straight, walk confidently and with a purpose. Don’t apologise for anything other than what you actually need to apologise for, don’t be sorry for being you! Build your self esteem consciously through your actions A mental method to help you to feel stronger and to overcome and build upon your low self esteem is to imagine each person’s personality as an animal. If, for instance, you were feeling under-confident you would probably be picturing yourself as a mouse and the other person as a tiger, hypothetically. To make a shift and instantly elevate your confidence, turn your mouse into a lion and turn them into a kitten. The problem you had with your under-confidence is that you viewed them as stronger, smarter, superior in whatever way to you, but this is only true in your mind by what you’re allowing yourself to believe. So when you actively swap that image for something more agreeable, and you mentally have the leader viewpoint, you naturally will not allow either yourself or them to make you feel unworthy in any way. You realise that you are equal and everybody has knowledge and talents in different areas, which do not diminish your’s because you’re momentarily intimidated by theirs. Focus on your qualities and strengths, allow no self doubt into your mind and you will see your social behaviour transform and bloom. This also illustrates to you quite clearly how many of your actions and attitudes are influenced directly by your beliefs. Do yourself a favour and make yourself number one. Taking priority for yourself is not an act of selfishness; it is absolutely necessary to function properly as a healthy person! By looking after and valuing yourself, by loving who you are wholly and completely you have more energy and zest for life. This increases your happiness, fills you with love, allows you to perform 1000 times better and you have more of yourself to give away and help others with. Life must be balanced with giving and taking, so you must look after and value yourself, these things must be understood and acted upon before you can fully overcome low self esteem.

Self-love and self-esteem go hand in hand, and you cannot have one without the other. Self-love is appreciating everything that you are and embracing it completely, because it’s all yours to use. You cannot fundamentally change who you are, so why not love yourself and enjoy your life? It’s very useful to spend time writing down your feelings, if you’re feeling under confident. Action can only be taken when you’re conscious of a thing, so you will have something to actually work with when you do this exercise, and build your self esteem. Writing it down allows you to understand your true feelings and so you are able to be objective and decide what action you need to take to improve these beliefs. It’s so therapeutic and really works wonders; if it can aid curing anorexia it can help your self-esteem problems! Usually people carry on in life without thinking, not realising that if they understood what, and why they behave and believe a certain way, they are then qualified to change it for the best. Every morning and evening as you wake up and go to sleep, look at yourself in the mirror, look at who you really are, not just what you see; your body is not who you are, you are within your body. See you and tell yourself “I love you, and I forgive you”, what purpose does it serve to be unkind to yourself. This can often be quite an emotional experience if you really let yourself experience it, it is vital for overcoming low self esteem. Taking a victim’s mindset or a defeatist mindset will bury you further into your self-made hole and nobody will dig you out. Take responsibility and really care for yourself; you created your situation, what ever it is, and so you must change it, your the only one who can build your level of self esteem. Choose to be happy. When you decide to love yourself, the world will respond in unison. To increase your self-esteem there are certain things you must do everyday, because it’s rarely something which you are just blessed with, if you think those who are happy and have high self-esteem and are just lucky or born like it, I’m afraid to tell you that you’ve been living in the dark, it’s something which must be worked at and developed everyday. Your mind is a muscle and must be exercised everyday to bring you the best possible life, this means expanding your mind by reading personal development books and listening to audio books, spending time meditating, visualising, writing down your goals and taking steps every day to work towards what it is that you want in your life or what you want to improve.

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