About behavioral problems
Tantrums, defiance or aggressive behaviour that are frequent and intense can strain family life. Interventions usually involve the parents, with practical strategies for routines, limits and communication, and work with the child adapted to their age.
Therapist is the everyday word for a professional who offers talking therapy: depending on the country it can be a psychologist, a psychotherapist, a licensed counsellor, a marriage and family therapist or a clinical social worker. Profiles show each therapist’s actual title, training and registration.
Getting mental health care in New Zealand
Public health system · Health New Zealand | Te Whatu Ora
Free short-term mental health and wellbeing support for mild to moderate distress is offered in many general practices through the Access and Choice programme, delivered by Health Improvement Practitioners and health coaches. Depending on the region you can book directly or be referred by your GP or practice nurse, often on the same day. Availability depends on the practice; people with more severe needs are referred by their GP to specialist mental health services. More information
How to check that a professional is licensed
- New Zealand Psychologists Board (Te Poari Kaimātai Hinengaro o Aotearoa). Psychologist is a protected title: only people registered with the Board may use it, and they also need a current practising certificate. Check the register for their scope of practice (Psychologist or Clinical Psychologist) and practising certificate. Search the official register
- Medical Council of New Zealand. Doctors, including psychiatrists, must be registered with the Medical Council. The public register shows scope of practice and whether the doctor holds a current annual practising certificate. Search the official register
- Psychotherapists Board of Aotearoa New Zealand (PBANZ). Psychotherapists are regulated under the Health Practitioners Competence Assurance Act 2003 and are listed on the Board's public register. Counsellor is not a protected title.
Urgent help in New Zealand
If your life or someone else's is in danger, call the emergency number now. These services can help at any time:
- 111 · Emergency (111)
- 1737 · 1737 Need to talk?
- 0800 543 354 · Lifeline Aotearoa
- 0508 828 865 · Suicide Crisis Helpline (0508 TAUTOKO)
Information reviewed in November 2026 · Sources: psychologistsboard.org.nz, mcnz.org.nz, tewhatuora.govt.nz, mentalhealth.org.nz
Signs to look out for
All children test limits and have tantrums at times. It may be worth seeking help when defiance, aggression, intense tantrums, lying, breaking rules or destructive behaviour are frequent, last for months, happen in several settings such as home and school, and cause problems with family life, learning or friendships. Sudden changes in behaviour can also signal stress, anxiety or difficulties elsewhere.
What helps: treatments and professionals
Parent training programmes based on behavioural principles have strong evidence for children’s behaviour problems. Family therapy and cognitive-behavioural approaches for the child or teenager, including emotional regulation and problem-solving skills, also help. Child and adolescent psychologists, clinical psychologists, family therapists and educational psychologists usually lead the work. An assessment can identify contributing factors such as ADHD, learning difficulties or anxiety.
When to seek urgent help
Contact your local emergency services if a child or teenager is seriously hurting themselves or others, has a weapon, is missing, or talks about suicide. Seek urgent help too if you suspect drug use with signs of intoxication. If you feel you might lose control and harm your child, step away safely and seek support immediately; asking for help is responsible.
What you can do in the meantime
Notice and praise specific good behaviour, and spend a little one-to-one time each day doing something your child enjoys. Keep rules few, clear and consistent between adults, with calm, predictable consequences. Avoid shouting and physical punishment, which tend to worsen behaviour. Look after your own stress and sleep, and talk to the school to work together.
What does a therapist do?
A therapist helps you talk through what is worrying you and find practical ways to feel and cope better. In sessions they listen, ask questions, help you notice patterns in your thoughts, emotions and relationships, and agree goals with you. Depending on their training they may use cognitive-behavioural, humanistic, systemic, psychodynamic or other evidence-based approaches, with individuals, couples, families or groups.
When to see a therapist
It makes sense to look for a therapist when stress, anxiety, low mood, grief, relationship problems, a difficult change or the effects of past experiences start to weigh on your daily life, or when you simply want space to understand yourself better. If symptoms are severe, you may need medication or there are signs of a medical cause, involve your doctor or a psychiatrist as well.
How to choose
When choosing, check the licence and training, the approach they use and whether they have experience with what you need. Consider practical aspects too: language, price, location or online sessions and availability. The relationship with the professional matters a great deal; if after a few sessions it does not feel right, it is fine to change.
Frequently asked questions
Does the public health system in New Zealand cover psychological care?
Free short-term mental health and wellbeing support for mild to moderate distress is offered in many general practices through the Access and Choice programme, delivered by Health Improvement Practitioners and health coaches. Depending on the region you can book directly or be referred by your GP or practice nurse, often on the same day. Availability depends on the practice; people with more severe needs are referred by their GP to specialist mental health services.
How do I check that a therapist is licensed in New Zealand?
New Zealand Psychologists Board (Te Poari Kaimātai Hinengaro o Aotearoa): Psychologist is a protected title: only people registered with the Board may use it, and they also need a current practising certificate. Check the register for their scope of practice (Psychologist or Clinical Psychologist) and practising certificate.